How to Be a Great Groom!

Don’t let wedding stress affect your relationship. Read a few suggestions on how to keep your bride happy in the run-up to the big day…

Weddings can be deeply stressful. As the groom you are expected to be involved (but not too involved), interested in the colour scheme (but not so much that you over rule your bride) and be generally helpful with a million different things that probably don’t grab you in the slightest. It’s no mean feat, so here are a few suggestions on how to be the perfect groom…

Stay Cool

The best advice is to be tolerant and to keep a cool head. Weddings can make the most sensible of brides become sulky and demanding. If she doesn’t get her own way, friction in the relationship may be caused and it’s usually the poor groom who gets the backlash!
As a groom you need to walk the fine line between sensitive to your fiancé’s needs and helping her maintain some perspective! The trick is being able to say this without actually adding to her tension. Something along the lines of, “I understand that choosing the flowers is stressful but…” is a good approach. Also try to keep your normal life, sport and hobbies going, try not to let the wedding take over. It’s also important to talk about things that are happening after the wedding, such as the honeymoon or any other major plans you have coming up. This all helps to make your bride see that there is life once the wedding is over.
Sometimes, just being thoughtful can be worth its weight in gold and is enough to remind your bride why you’re both going through all this stress in the first place. The little things might not help your bride-to-be make a big decision, but it will put her in a better mood while she’s doing it!

Reality checks

Remind your fiancé that the wedding is just as important to you as it is to her. Show her that you’re thinking about it all too, even if you don’t always show it. Remember that it’s easy for brides-to-be to lose their grip on reality when confronted with glossy pictures of £100,000 celebrity weddings and stories of days that have come together perfectly with military precision. Gently encourage your fiancé to be realistic – everyone wants the “perfect” wedding day, but this is hard to achieve. Talk to her about any major concerns she might have so you can both devise a rational way of dealing with problems together on the day.

Quick fixes for dealing with bride-madness moments…
  • Take her out for dinner and don’t talk about weddings. This will not only give you both some time out but you will also be sure that she’s eating properly.
  • Delegate – ask family and friends to help alleviate some of the pressure. If it really all becomes too much for you both, find a professional wedding planner.
  • Lend a hand. You may not relish choosing the flowers, so play to your strengths instead. If you’re technically gifted, design a wedding website – include all the travel details for the wedding, local hotels, your gift list, etc, to save your bride answering a million extra calls. Or, if you’re good with numbers, set up a spreadsheet to keep track of your finances. Every little bit you can do helps.
  • Learn to say no – lots of people will want to have a say in your big day but you both have every right to tell them if you want things done differently.
  • Find out who stresses her out the most with regard to the wedding – your mother, her mother, her sister? And be prepared to back her up and help out when you’re in their company.

What Exactly Should You Say in Your ‘Groom’s’ Speech?

  • Thanks the father of the bride for his toast.
  • Thanks the guests for attending and for their gifts.
  • Thanks both sets of parents.
  • Compliments his bride.
  • Thanks his best man.
  • Thanks and toasts the bridesmaids.

Top Tips for a Flawless Speech

Don’t panic! A little careful planning will help you deliver a speech to be proud of…

  • Keep to the point – 5 to 10 minutes at most.
  • Look up, smile and look around the guests. If you look happy and confident, you’ll sound it too.
  • If you’re not naturally witty, don’t try too hard. Be sincere and speak from the heart.
  • Prepare well in advance – not the night before.
  • Practise your speech out loud a few times and time it to make sure it doesn’t overrun. If possible, read it to someone who’s opinion you trust.
  • If you’re an inexperienced speaker, write the speech out in full rather than in note form.
  • Be funny if you can but avoid sexual innuendos or anything risqué. Elderly relatives will be listening as well as your friends, so it must be suitable for all.
  • Keep your sentences short and you language conversational and informal.
  • If you’re not used to speaking in public, use a microphone if there is one. If not, lift your head and project your voice – don’t talk into your notes. You’ll need to speak up to be heard at the back of the room.
  • Don’t rush or you’ll fall over your words. Take a deep breath and take your time.